I'm a Cow

I'm a cow
I ain't got no one but me
I'm so lonesome can't you see?
making milk for you and me

got to get myself out this barn somehow
gonna check out this new nightclub downtown
ladies night: cows get in for free
maybe someone will come talk to me

I'm a cow

what's a girl gotta do to get me a date?
i dress real purty and I stay out late
I got a big booty and nice titties
ain't that what them boys like in the city?

I'm a cow

so I got me a profile on match.com
i tried to upload a photo but it took too long
there sure are a lotta nice men out there
i hope they don't mind a little body hair

and then those emails started rolling in
the first was from a snake but he was too thin
then there was this elephant but he was too big
then there was this hog but I ain't no pig
then there was this human but I think that's gross
I'd call his wife but I ain't got no phone
then there was this bear but I don't swing that way
and there was another cow but I am not gay
then there was this out of work dog with no pay
fuck this shit I'll stay celibate

I'm a cow

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